um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
