im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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