Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
