ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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