So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
