I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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