Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
