if you like me you must not know who I am
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
