If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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