oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
