You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
