road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
