just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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