I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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