Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
