p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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