Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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