Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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