my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
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