so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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