that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
