I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize