and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize