Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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