There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
