I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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