Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
