the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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