Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
