Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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