morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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