we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You made out with two different species that night
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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