god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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