so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
