i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
