Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize