OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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