What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was born a porn star she said
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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