You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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