garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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