Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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