Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
