Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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