Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
they need to just BURY HIM!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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