I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm really busy with my period
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
