Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Please, let me fuck your mom
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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