I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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