porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
