She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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