i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will pee on everything he values.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
