you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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