Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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