Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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