Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
