I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
