dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
