Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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