Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
