Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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