I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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